gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
