Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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