I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
