Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
