dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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