her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
