every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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