they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need help removing her.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize