I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
