"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
