I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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