Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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