hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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