you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
