They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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