NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
