i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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