Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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