I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
