Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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