Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
