I smell stomach acid.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
