I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
honey bunches of taint.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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