I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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