It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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