she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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