Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
