Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
