Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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