Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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