Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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