Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
