Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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