I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
