I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize