my sisters under your porch take her home
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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