So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
