before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Two words: blizzard sex
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
