i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
