your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
