did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
