another moral hangover. fuck.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
my liver is dry heaving
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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