can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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