I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
