oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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