it's not cheating when I paid for it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
