NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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