Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
