but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
