so let's talk penis.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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