my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
