Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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