gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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