She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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