The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
