Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
