Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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