i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
