I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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