the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
