Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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