is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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