"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
