I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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