i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
