the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
