I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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