The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
