Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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