just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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