I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
