Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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